Saturday, November 27, 2010

Boobyhatch practice

Every once in a while, I practice for the mental hospital. I hope and pray that my days of hospitalizations are long since over and done with, but one never knows.

So I practice my answers to questions like, "Who is the President of the United States?" If I am ever hospitalized while the current occupant of the White House is in power, I shall say, "I slept through the last election. Did anything interesting happen?" Or I shall begin my rapid-fire recitation of the most recent presidents, backwards, for the span of one century:


Or, my answer to the other perennial question, "Can you count backwards from 100 by sevens?"

My answer will be in Italian: "Cento, novantatre, ottantasei, settantanove, settantadue, sessantacinque, cinquantotto, cinquantuno ..." Et cetera.

In the spring of, I think it was 2000, I was being examined for a possible hospitalization by a German woman doctor (Dr Eva Something-beginning-with-G) at New England Medical Center, and was asked, among other things, to "please write a sentence." The sentence I came up with was: "George Carey is the 103rd Archbishop of Canterbury." The doctor's eyes widened slightly while reading that relatively simple but grammatically perfect gem.  I was not hospitalized on that occasion!

But believe it or not, I practice my answers to boobyhatch questions. Which in and of itself is probably insane.

Dr Rowan Williams is the 104th Archbishop of Canterbury.