Nicknames we have here at the Dark Speech family for various items around the kitchen:
anglais moo-fan That's an English muffin, as you all may have guessed.
chester plate Any ordinary run-of-the-mill plate. The nickname is inspired by the late '70s series Soap, in which a character named Chester Tate emerges from amnesia upon seeing a plate. Or hearing the word "plate." Or something like that. He gets his name partially right at a first go.
ee-chay coo-bay Ice cube. Not pig latin! An application of the Italian rules of pronunciation to these two English words.
canine paper A relative's superb malaprop for "cayenne pepper."
toe-ast Toast. Pronouncing the "oa" like the "oa" in "Croat."
Does anyone else have silly nicknames for things, not necessarily kitchen items or foodstuffs, maybe things around the house, or the workplace? Or are we the only goofballs in the entire Anglosphere?